Chapter one - in the words of Nike...Just do it!

I am not the plague I am just a virgin

Ok I am getting a little ahead of myself….I'm 22 a focused student and a driven female. I have been told I have a great body and that “I’m hot”. I’m not socially inept…. In fact I’m a total extravert. I have female friends and male friends. I know how to flurt and I’m not afraid to do it. I have been told that any guy would kill to be with me. Well in the last 22years I have not seen an once of blood shed, in fact not even a paper cut worth of damage has been done in the battle for my heart. Sure guys flirt and throw around the idea that they may be interested in dating me but no follow-through. Its like that movie he’s just not that into you, when all the friends say “your to intimidating” or “he’s threatened by you”. Pardon my French but what the F#$K!

This blog was created so that I could vent my frustrations. No I am not a crazy girl locked in a dark room with no friends and a shrine to the men that were. Instead I am venting my feelings to cyber space because its not that often that you come across someone in my situation. So I open my thoughts and rants to you…who ever you are. I hope you enjoy!

Day 1

What prompted this whole thing?
A guy what else. It was my melting point. I just couldn’t take it.

You see I have a large group of friends at my university and like any group of friends word travels fast and gossip flies. It seems when you tell someone something as jucy as “I’m a virgin” everyone you know will find out in seconds. It fact people I have never met yet know.

For example your at a bar, had a few drinks, you feel brave and decide what the hell I will go talk to mister tall dark and smoking. So you down your drink pull down you shirt to expose a little more cleavage fix your hair and re-gloss your lips and head over.

“Hi your Andrew's friend Nick right?”
“Yeah that’s right we play hockey together” mister smoking replies
“Yeah I’ve seen you with him at the gym before” you say, trying to sound aloof and very matter of fact.
“Yeah that’s right I knew you looked familiar…. you’re his friend X…the virgin right?”

WTF

How do you respond to that? Ah yeah I am !?!
OR even better “no haha I am not a virgin” and come off sounding like a slut. And trust me I would because I am not that smooth and lying is not my forte.
And since when did being a virgin become a title. Its not like yeah your x the soccer player or "oh yeah your x I heard you wen to France for school last year, how was that?"
Hey your the Virgin is not an opening line and i hate that it seems to be the most common line i get.


So back to the point…everyone knows I am a virgin and apparently its like a big thing. I’m Christian but that has nothing to do with it. I just spend the last 4years of my education studying and concentrating on school. Having a boyfriend seems like a nice idea but I don’t have time to devote to someone else and my schooling comes first… so I was never put in a situation to lose it

This never seemed to bug me I was cool being the hot girl “friend” in the group of guys but now its just frustrating.

So back to the guy. The two of us are friends and have been for about 2years. He has always hit on me and made passes but has never followed through. Things have gotten heated before when some liquid courage has been present but nothing ever got far at all. Its not that I am not willing but he isn’t. He tells everyone else he is but it’s the whole virgin thing. Guys assume that virgins will be needy and clingy. Ok maybe not all guys but a lot feel this way.

How do I know this…I asked him. YEP in an act of desperation and 7 beers later…I asked. Alone in his room we got back to that heated moment when he says STOP! Sorry I mean yells stop, like I was the only one kissing and he wasn’t ON me. He tells me that I am too good for this and that I wouldn’t want to have sex. How does he know? and how dare he say he knows how I feel. He continues with “this isn’t like you and you wouldn’t do this”. AH HELLO I believe I would cause I was and thanks for making me feel like a slut now. If he had of said not now lets talk about this when we haven't been drinking then that would have been fine. But it was the whole you wouldn't do this. I would but you will not let me!!!!!


Ok rather then go on with my rant and sound like an idiot I’ll get back to my point. Its hard being 22 and a virgin. I have waited this long that losing it to a one night stand isn’t worth it, but on the other hand everyone is coupled off and having sex and talking about having sex that its frustrating. Frustrating that I can’t relate and frustrating that even when I try to lose it I get shut down.

Now this never bothered me until I felt like even if I wanted to lose it I couldn’t because no one wanted the clinging needy virgin.

Here is my question to you… Boys what’s wrong with dating a virgin? Is that not a good thing that I haven’t slept with anyone…I'm clean lol. Does it not mean that when you do have sex with me I will have nothing to compare it too… you could be the worst lay ever and I would think you a sex god. Your friends can say “hey your girl friend is not a slut and in fact she thinks your good enough to date that must mean something”.

Alright I’ll stop here please comment I like a good debate!